A Secret Relationship
by BCBoo
Summary: [Vimes/Vetinari] but not like you'd expect it. NOT A SLASH Set about 28 years after Night Watch. It's time for the next generation. How do you tell Vimes he's going to be Vetinari's brother in law? How will he react? *CHAP 3 UP*
1. Secret Relationship

Samuel Vimes was walking through the streets of Ankh-Morpork. He was just Sam tonight. Forget the full name, forget the titles he had collected, tonight he wanted none of them, he was just Sam. Just Sam for someone special.

Sam's day was a good one, which was rare. There was just one thing that could make it even better and he was going to see that person right now.

The palace loomed over the top of the dirty houses that sat around the city like dirty socks in a child's bedroom. [1] Sam smiled at the site of the large building. He had spent many happy times there. Of course there were some not so enjoyable times, but the reports had to be given.

Around the back of the palace there was a secret entrance, only 2 people knew about it. Sam and his lover. It was incredibly hard to spot and entering required pressing some bricks in a certain order, stamping on the 5th from the right plant in the 3rd flowerbed and using a key with the left hand while standing at a certain angle, to open the first door. There were various booby traps on the way in, but it wouldn't be a Leonard creation without them. Sam had done this routine countless times, he knew it by heart and didn't really need to be consciously thinking while doing it.

After exiting the tunnel Sam entered a bedroom. It was sparsely furnished. There was a bed, a chest-of-draws and a wardrobe built into the wall, but that was it. The owner didn't want any fancy furnishings. Sam's next job was to hide. He hid behind the door. Most people would have been spotted if they tried to hide there. Sam knew that he would as well, but he had the confidence that no one would come into the room except the owner.

10 minutes later the owner entered. The familiar black material was just visible from Sam's spot behind the door. He wanted to jump out and be welcomed in way he was always welcomed, but the sound of Drumkott's voice stopped him.

"You have to go to this ball tomorrow at…"

"Yes yes, I know, at the Assassins Guild."

"You don't sound convinced. You do know why you have to go?"

"Yes, because I used to go there, it's a reunion. I know Drumknott, now please leave me."

"Yes M…" The door was shut before the clerk could give the proper addressing. The figure dressed in black sighed and headed over to the window.

"Hey Lizzie." Sam stepped out and smiled at Elizabeth Vetinari, Lord Vetinari's daughter.

"Sam." She turned and smiled back. "It's so good to see you." Lizzie and Sam stepped the steps that emptied the gap between them and embraced.

"Problems?" Sam asked, as they pulled apart slightly, still holding each other.

"Oh the usual. It's a bit tense around here because of the problems in Uberworld. Dad's worried we might have to go to war."

"I heard Dad mention something about that. But then he starts complaining about vampires so I never get the whole story." Lizzie laughed.

"So apart from the ever lasting hatred against vampires, how is your dad? And you're mum." They walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. Sam took a moment before answering to look at the woman he loved. She was tall, like her father, and had his dark hair. She had got her mothers green eyes and rebellious side. Granted he couldn't see that but he knew it was there. Her favourite colour was black, and it showed. Lizzie was wearing her favourite dress, simple, figure hugging, long and black. She also wore black make up, well not lipstick, but eye make up. She was about 3 years younger than Sam, but still 25 respectively.

"They're fine. Mum's had a new load of dragons in so she's out looking after them all the time. Dads, well Dad. He's out all the time at the Watch House and patrolling. Carrot's on holiday so it's getting a bit hectic."

"I saw you here earlier giving Dad the report."

"Yep. I've been coming here for what, 8 years, maybe more to give reports and he still scares me." Lizzie laughed again. Sam loved her laugh.

"He scares everyone. I'm still scared of him when he's angry." There was a comfortable silence as they looked at each other. Sam, looking away, broke it.

"Sam? What's the matter?" He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes briefly.

"I'm about to become a whole lot more scared of him." Sam, shaking slightly, got off the bed and got down on one knee. He rested one hand on Lizzie knee.

"Sam?"

"Lizzie. I love you. We've been seeing each other for 6 months. We've known each other since you were born." Sam fumbled around in his pocket. "I had this big romantic speech planned but I've completely forgotten it. So, um, here, um, will you marry me?" He produced a ring from the depth of his pockets. It was a simple solitaire ring with a black stone. Lizzie was about reply when her voice caught in her throat, so instead she nodded and let Sam slip the ring on her finger. He stood up and sat back next to her. They kissed passionately and then Lizzie asked the question.

"Do you want to tell Dad and Vimes or shall I?" They laughed and kissed again, this time falling back onto the bed.

[1] They looked bad, they smelt, but the owner sure as hell wasn't going to do a thing about it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So what do you think? It's my first proper romantic story.

Imagine if Vimes and Vetinari really did become in-laws. I think it'd be so funny. Like 'Grumpy Old Men' (A movie I saw a while ago)

Disclaimer time. I do own Lizzie and her mum. Everything else is Terry Pratchetts's.


	2. Time To Tell

This was only going to be a one part story, but seeing as you want more, here you are.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It had been 3 weeks since Sam proposed to Lizzie, and they were still a secret. Both of them were scared of the reactions they would get from the parents. They knew the Mum's would probably be delighted, but the Dad's, well. You try and tell Vimes that he's about to be related to Vetinari.

Lizzie had been very carefully hiding the ring under some black gloves as there was no way she was going to remove it. And the secret meetings had increased.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, was sitting in the garden on a plain wooden chair, surrounded by paper work. Lizzie was standing in the shadows building up the courage to revel the news. Vetinari signed the top sheet of a wad of paper and placed it on his left hand pile. The bells of the many guilds started to ring 4 o'clock.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Commander Vimes was on patrol with his son. It was a sunny day, but all the sun on the disc couldn't make this city look fresh. Vimes had noticed that his son was rather distant today, and had been for 3 weeks. Being distant was not an option for any Watchman.

"Sam, is something the matter?"

"No."

"Let's try this again. What's the matter Sam?" Young Sam remained silent. "Sam, you've been distant for 3 weeks, as your Father and your Boss I need to know if everything's ok." They both stopped walking.

"Well…" The guild bells rang 4 o'clock.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

The ornamental sundial in the palace garden gave 3½ chimes before jumping to the right, then back to its original spot and inwardly exploding. A small wisp of smoke climbed out of it and flew freely into the air. Vetinari didn't even look up.

"Um, Daddy?" Lizzie stepped out of the shadows.

"I have heard that line before, it usually ends with 'can I have…'"

 He replied, still looking intently at the paper work. Lizzie laughed softly.

"Not this time. I've got something to tell you, something I don't think you know about." She shifted uneasily.

"If it is something about your private life then no I don't. I may spy on the city and it's residence but I trust my family enough to leave them out of it."

"How did you know it was about my private life?" Vetinari placed his pen down on the paper work and looked at his daughter.

"I'm your father, I just know." He smiled at her and she returned the smile. "So, do tell me what's on your mind."

"Well…"

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

The Assassins Guild bell finished the tremendous onslaught of bells.

"…It doesn't matter." Sam started walking again.

"It's a girl isn't it?" Sam froze on the spot.

"How'd you know?"

"Because I've seen that look before. It's the look I saw in the mirror when I fell in love with your Mother and realised I had to tell everyone." Vimes stood in front of his son. "So tell me."

"Dad I'm in love." Sam breathed deeply. "And I'm engaged."

"Engaged?!" Vimes was shocked. His son may be 28, but he still saw him as the child who came running to him with a cut on his knee and a dragon chasing him. Vimes couldn't stop himself from saying: "Aren't you a bit young?"

"Dad! Just because you married later than most doesn't mean I have to."

"I know, it's a natural reaction, sorry." A few moments of silence passed. "Who is she then?"

"It's…"

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

"Lizzie?" Vetinari realised his daughter wasn't getting any further than saying 'well'. Lizzie couldn't bring herself to say it. Yes she wanted to stand on the Tower Of Art and shout it out to the whole city. But saying it directly to her father, Lord Vetinari, was a different thing. Instead of saying it she removed her gloves and showed her father the ring.

His long slender fingers took hold of her hand to inspect the ring. "You've been keeping this from me for 3 weeks. Why?"

"3 weeks? How do you know these things?"

"You've been wearing gloves constantly for 3 weeks, I tend to notice these things."

"Your not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? Your obviously in love and happy. But I am rather puzzled as to why you kept it from me. Would you care to explain?" He let go of her hand and looked back at her face.

"Because I haven't dropped the bombshell yet." Vetinari looked inquisitively at Lizzie and raised a thin eyebrow.

"Dad, me and Sam have been seeing each other for 6 months."

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Sam braced himself for his father's reaction.

"…Lizzie." Vimes world started to spin for a moment.

"Sorry, say that again?" He hoped for a different answer.

"Lizzie."

"Please tell me it's a Lizzie I haven't heard of before and not who I'm thinking." Sam looked hurt and slightly angry. Vimes realised he'd insulted Lizzie. "Not that I have a problem with Lizzie, I just have a problem with…"

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

"Lord Vetinari?" Drumknott appeared out of nowhere.

"Yes Drumknott." Lord Vetinari's gaze did not move from his daughters face.

"The head of the Thieves Guild is here to see you M'lord." 

"Tell him I'm busy."

"But Sir…"

"I'm busy Drumknott!"

"Yes Sir." He scurried away desperately trying to think up an excuse for the Patrician.

Once the clerk was gone Vetinari spoke to his daughter.

"Sam Vimes?"

"Yep."

"6 months?"

"Yep."

"And your Mother didn't notice?"

"Nope."

"She usually has a seventh sense for these things [1]."

"I know. This one slipped past her."

"She normally knows within a month."

"You seem to be avoiding the subject."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"What subject would that be then?"

"The subject of my fiancée. You think I would have kept this from you if was anyone else?"

"Yes, I am quite shocked but as long as you're happy it's ok." Vetinari stood up and did something quite out of character, he gave Lizzie a hug. Of course Lizzie had received countless hugs from her Father over the years, but he never did it in public. And there were 4 gardeners around and at least 7 guards.

"Is Mum back yet?" Lizzie asked as they broke the hug and Vetinari sat back down.

"No, she should be back later today." Lizzie turned to head back indoors as her father picked up some more paper work and his pen, which had fallen on the floor.

Seth had disappeared the day because of an Assassin. Unfortunately she was trying to get Wuffles the 3rd to let go of her shoe and wasn't paying attention to the activity outside her window. When she vanished she left a confused Wuffles the 3rd who went flying backwards from the sudden lack of pull from one end of the shoe, and an equally confused Assassin whose arrow had left a hole in the carpet.

"Congratulations Lizzie." Vetinari called after his daughter just as she was about to walk into the palace.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

"…Lord Vetinari!" Vimes finished his sentence after getting himself out a cigarette and lighting it. "You know how much he aggravates me."

"Oh yeah, that's what I thought about before I proposed. I thought 'I wonder if Dad and my soon to be Father-in-law will get along'. Surprisingly it wasn't the most important thing on my mind at the time." Sam snapped.

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"That he's going to be your father-in-law. It makes him sound like family."

"He is going to be family. You're going to be Havelock Vetinari's brother-in-law." That sentence almost made Vimes sick.

"Does your Mother know about this?"

"Not yet, I wanted to tell you first."

"Well, you're having today off. Go home and tell your Mother." Vimes turned around.

"But Da…"

"Go home Sam!" He called back.

Young Sam wondered off slowly home while Vimes stormed back to the Watch House, taking a long detour to clear his thoughts.

"Afternoon Sir!" Sergeant Colon said as he came out of the Watch House, almost crashing into the Commander who wasn't paying attention to where he was going. Vimes mumbled something that Colon didn't quite hear. In his head Vimes kept trying to picture Lord Vetinari as his brother-in-law, but it wasn't working.

The familiar sound of Vimes organiser broke his thoughts.

"Four thirty pee em. Meeting with the Patrician." Vimes growled at the imp, snapped the lid shut with more force than necessary and rammed it into his pocket. He then swiftly turned on his heels and stormed towards the palace.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

[1] Seth Vetinari's sixth sense was location. Seth had been born to a witch, but not a partially good one. She had hoped her daughter would have stronger magical abilities, but had no such luck. Seth's magical powers are even worse than her Mothers. In fact she can't actually get hold of her magic let alone control them.

Seth's magic works at it's own accord. If it senses danger, unless Seth senses it first and can get out of the way, it will make her disappear to save her. She will turn up somewhere on the Disc but has no control over where. That's why her sense of location exists, if she didn't have it then she may never have got back home. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What do you think? I tired to do a split scene thingy (my drama teacher would be so proud). Did it work out ok?

Disclaimer: I do own Lizzie and her mum. Everything else is Terry Pratchetts's.


	3. Report Time

Vimes was sitting outside Lord Vetinari's office listening to the rather irregular clock tick tocking away irregularly. This wasn't a meeting he was looking forward to. Granted he didn't look forward to many, if any, of his meetings with the Patrician, but today's was going to be even worse. Firstly he was on his own, normally Carrot, or at a push young Sam would be there. But not today. Young Sam was in big trouble when Vimes got home. And secondly, Vimes didn't know if Vetinari knew about the engagement.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Lord Vetinari was sitting in his office, fingers steepled, musing. He was musing over his daughter's announcement earlier. He was, naturally, happy for her, but he was unsure about the relatives he was going to have after the wedding took place. It wasn't that he minded Sybil, no, on the contrary. He didn't mind Vimes either, well, apart from the mans complete lack of respect and his strange view on things. All in all he was an okay man. But not really the type of man Vetinari had pictured as family. Not that Vetinari had really pictured himself with a family up until 28 years ago when Seth popped into his life.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

At 20 to 5 Lord Vetinari called Vimes into his office. Vimes wasn't as angry as he normally would be, due to the thoughts that were clouding his mind. Vetinari watched Vimes as he confidently walked into the room. His confidence was so strong, it was false.

"Vimes, no Sam today?" Vetinari asked from behind steepled fingers as he leaned back in his chair.

"No sir."

"I do hope nothing is the matter."

"No sir." Vimes was standing in his normal place looking at his normal focus point. There was a purposely-uncomfortable silence.

"What's the report then?" Vetinari said as he leant forwards.

"Nothing much sir. Its all been pretty quiet."

"Nothing much Commander?"

"Nothing important that is."

"I see. I am sure if Captain Carrot or even Sergeant Vimes were here they would say differently."

"They haven't leant the difference between crime and threatening the city."

"That may be true but I do like to know what's going on in the city. You don't stay in power by not knowing." Vimes replied with nothing. Vetinari, almost inaudibly, sighed. "Do you at lest have a written report Commander?"

"Yes sir." Vimes slowly walked towards the desk and placed a small piece of paper on it. "If that's all sir-"

"I don't think I have ever seen you so eager to get out of here when there is no report of a crime." Vetinari was looking at the report; he didn't even look at Vimes, yet Vimes still froze on the spot.

"I'm sure you-"

"How's everything at home Vimes? We are now talking human to human, not Patrician to Duke."

"Everything's fine at home. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Any announcements?" Vetinari stood up and walked around his desk, leaning on it in an almost casual manner. It now occurred to Vimes that Vetinari did know.

"By the sounds of it you know I've heard an announcement." Vimes tried to look Vetinari directly in the eyes, but on second thoughts he just looked in the general area of Vetinari's head.

"I am sure you were shocked when Sam told you."

"Shocked! It was bloody kick in the teeth!" Standing at attention was forgotten; Vimes stood in his normal every day stance. 

"Now Vimes, the thought of your Sam marring my Lizzie can't be that terrible." Vetinari raised a thin eyebrow questionably.

"Well…" Vimes was, for once, lost for words, he couldn't really explain his feelings about the engagement without being thrown in with the scorpions and mimes. "…They're too young." Vimes seemed satisfied with that answer, even though Sam hadn't been earlier.

"I believe Sam is 28, while Lizzie is 25. That doesn't sound to young to me. I know of people who get married younger."

"Ok, but, what about money, Sam is only a Sergeant." Now Vimes' brain was just throwing random excuses at his mouth, he wasn't thinking them through.

"But he is the heir to the Rambkin fortune, and I know that he has been saving money since he was 8 and has plenty stashed away. Lizzie is the heir to the Vetinari fortune, which she and I have been saving up. I believe money will not be a problem."

"Well what abou-"

"Mister Vimes. I believe your problem isn't with the actual relationship. I believe the problem is a little more personal."

"Personal?"

"Yes. Traditionally the problems are with the in-laws and not wanting to let go of the child. Does either of them ring a bell?" Vimes was thoughtful for a moment.

"What was your reaction when Lizzie told you?"

"I was happy for them, naturally."

"Your telling me you didn't freak out?"

"I'm not the 'freaking out' kind."

"I remember when Seth told you she was pregnant. You freaked out then."

"I did not. I hardly even raised my voice let alone freaked out." The corner of Vetinari's mouth curled upwards into a 'happy memory' smile.

"Your hands were shaking for the whole day." There was a happy pause while they both relived the memory. Vimes remembering seeing the always calm Patrician freaking out. Vetinari remembering the day he found out he was going to be a father.

After about a minute Vimes realised that this could be considered as bonding, which is what in-laws should do. He quickly straightened up and tried to leave.

"Well I'll be going-"

"Vimes. I know you have a problem with me becoming your brother-in-law." Vimes' face twitched as he heard those last 3 words as he exited the room.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Vimes punched the wall outside the office and carried on walking. After exiting that room he stopped, ran back in, and kicked the wall under the fresh fist marks. Then he left the palace and stormed all the way home.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Vetinari looked at the door for a moment before re-seating himself at his desk. He rang a small bell and Drumknott appeared in the way only Drumknott knows how.

"Yes M'Lord?"

"Call the plasterer, I heard Vimes' attack on the wall.

"Yes, right away."

"Thank you Drumknott."

Lord Vetinari set back to work, signing, reading and writing reports. Anyone who saw would have never known what had happened in the office just a few minutes previously.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Disclaimer: I do own Lizzie and her mum. Everything else is Terry Pratchetts's.


End file.
